I Miss You
by IrIsH-cHiCk213
Summary: Casey is missing Derek who died a year ago, and this is just a oneshot about her reflecting on his death. Previous Dasey Some lyrics from 'Cemetery Drive' by My Chemical Romance
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey..I'm back again. I know I should be updating my other fics, but this idea has been gnawing at me for I don't know how long, so here it is. It's a oneshot. I do not own LWD. R&R!**

**There are some lyrics from the song Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance, so I don't own them either..sadly. Haha.**

**Raye**

Casey's POV

It had been a year since the party. A party that changed the course of my life as well as my friends and family. If only Derek hadn't gotten so drunk, he wouldn't have gotten into that fight and he would still be..here. With me. I'd loved Derek more than air itself. I lived for our fights, but I don't think I could have lived another day if I didn't have his love.

_Flashback_

_Derek and Casey had been going out for almost a year, and they were on their way to the biggest party of the year. Derek was driving, and Casey and he were talking about graduation._

_"So what do you think my mom and George got us for graduation?" Casey asked, turning to Derek excitedly._

_"I have no idea. Maybe they'll send us somewhere." he said, laughing at his girlfriends enthusiasm on the subject._

_"Like London? Or Paris! Wouldn't that be amazing? Or maybe they'll send us to go see all the Scottish castles!"_

_"Babe, it was just an idea. I didn't say that's what they're getting us." Derek replied._

_"I know, but they got us a car when we both passed our drive tests and got our licenses, so they wouldn't get us that. A trip would be an amazing gift!"_

_"Well if you had to pick one place to go, where would it be?"_

_"Well..aside from London or Paris, I think I would most like to see..." she paused. "Promise not to laugh?"_

_"Promise."_

_"I want to see the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial." she said, looking at him for any sign of laughter._

_"That'd be cool." he finally responded. "Now why would I have laughed at that?"_

_"Well, because It's not much to see, just the unmade bed he slept in, and the little statue of people watching his 'I have a Dream' speech on t.v. I just think it would be really cool."_

_"It would be. Now can I laugh?" he said, smiling._

_"No." she shot back, turning towards the window of the car._

_"I was just kidding. Now stop pouting and let's go." he said, parking the car and getting out, walking to the other side to open Casey's door for her._

_"Fine. But please promise that you won't get belligerently drunk, because I really don't want to drive home."_

_"I make no promises." he replied, smiling as they walked up the walkway and to the front door, walking inside._

_end flashback_

My mom came upstairs at some point to tell me that dinner was ready, but I wasn't going to eat. I couldn't eat right now. I couldn't bare to sit in the seat across from where Derek would have sat because I knew he wouldn't come barreling down the stairs and sliding into it halfway through the meal. I almost never sat at the table with the family now. I ate in my room, or I didn't eat at all.

****I don't blame him entirely, but that doesn't mean I don't blame him at all. He provoked the guy, Jace Engle, until he just couldn't stand it and then finally, Jace pulled a knife out and stabbed him in the chest, forcing Derek down to the ground where he pulled the knife out and fled the house.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?" I yelled at the air around me, hoping to God that he heard me.

_flashback_

_Derek took in what he was sure was his last breath, and spoke his final words to Casey._

_"I love you so much. And I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be sorry. Just hold on. The ambulance will be here soon, I promise. Just hold on, baby, everything will be fine."_

_And then, the hand that had laced with Casey's went limp and his last breath came out a strangled cry of pain and surrender. He'd lost a lot of blood from the wound that punctured his heart. And that was it. The ambulance came three minutes later and the EMT's came barging in, forcing Casey away from Derek's body. She screamed and cried and when anyone tried to calm her down, she would yell at them to get away, and the only one she wanted was Derek. _

_end flashback_

While I remembered what happened at the party, exactly a year ago today, I let out a stifled sob and then let the tears fall freely, not holding back any screams of frustration or agony as I cried. Not a day went by that I didn't think of Derek, but this was a pain I'd never felt before. It was the anniversary of his death.

_**I miss you**_

_**I miss you so far**_

_**and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard**_

I fell asleep that night, but it wasn't restful. I kept picturing the knife being plunged into his chest, then him falling to the floor, then his slowly paling face as he died in my arms. I woke up in a cold sweat, panting and crying. Figuring that sleep wasn't the best idea in the world tonight, I slipped on a pair of black pants, and a black shirt, then went downstairs and grabbed my sweatshirt and shoes and went out the back door. I walked to the cemetery and made my way through the maze of headstones and found myself standing in front of the only headstone that mattered to me.

"Derek.." I choked out, "I miss you so so much. Why did you have to leave me? We had plans! We had so much to do, and now you're gone. I can't do this without you!" I sobbed, falling to my knees and hugging his headstone.

_**Here lies Derek Gerard Venturi**_

_**Beloved son, and brother**_

_**A young life cut too short**_

_**You will be sadly missed**_

I laid down on the ground above where his body was, six feet underground, and I cried.

_**I won't stop dying**_

_**won't stop lying**_

_**if you want I'll keep on crying**_

_**did you get what you deserve?**_

_**Is this what you always want me for?**_

_**I miss you**_

_**I miss you so far**_

_**and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard..**_

**A/N: Okay..so there it is..I came close to tears writing this, but that's just me. Haha..so please review so I know what you think!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay..so iluvacting has requested for me to make this a multi chap fic. I would like to know what you all think. If I get enough reviews saying that that's what you want, I'll consider it. Thanks for reading!!**

**Raye**


	3. Author's Note about 2nd chap

**Okay so for those of you who wanted this to be a 2shot, you're getting your wish. I have the 2****nd**** chapter in the works right now..and it's about half way done. So that will be up soon. Please don't forget to read and review my other recently updated fics! I know it's been forever, but I finally got the site unblocked, so I'll be updating..probably every other night. Love you guys!! Read and Review!**

**Raye**


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